The story told by
A woman from a Turkmen village overcomes hardships, raises six children, and ensures their education, embodying resilience and dedication
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The history of Central Asia has consistently intrigued me, particularly the resilience of women who faced immense challenges during wartime (such as the World War I ,The Great Patriotic War) persevering for the sake of their children and families without fear. Everyone has someone they regard as a hero, and for me, that person has always been my grandmother, Ayjeren Durdyyeva.
The hardships she endured throughout her life only served to fortify her spirit. Had she not demonstrated such strength and resilience in overcoming adversity, I might not have achieved my current position. The tragic events my grandmother encountered coincided with one of the most tumultuous periods in Central Asia's history, compounding her struggles even further.
I thoroughly enjoy visiting the village during every holiday, engaging in conversations with her, and absorbing her stories. Inspired by my grandmother's narratives, I have chosen to write a story that reflects her experiences. I trust that her life story will yield meaningful insights.
‘‘Growing up in village is a blessing’’
The village of Ak-Altyn, (located in Vekilbazar district which covers the eastern and northeastern suburbs of Mary city in Turkmenistan) is the birthplace of Ayjeren Durdyyeva. March 1, 1959, marked the start of a new chapter in life.
She was born into a middle-class family as the eldest of eleven siblings. Her mother- Abadan gelneje , a resilient and industrious woman, managed the challenges of raising all 11 children. She was cherished by all in the village and was renowned for her generosity. Whenever there were weddings or community events, she would prepare a large pot of food to share with everyone. She was occupied with household chores and caring for the children. In addition to that, she worked on various collective farms and participated in cotton picking. Her father, Ovezmyrat aga , was a driver and held in high regard by all in the village Ak Altyn. He excelled particularly in gardening, and villagers often visited to admire and sample the fruits he cultivated in his garden.
Ayjeren was the eldest among her seven sisters and four brothers, which placed the duty of looking after her siblings on her shoulders to assist her mother. From a young age, she began joining Abadan gelneje wherever she went to. In August, they would head to the cotton fields to pick cotton. However, Ayjeren was unable to participate like the other women; instead, she stood in the center of the field, holding two large bottles of water. People at work could signal to her when they needed a drink. She felt a great sense of joy in assisting her mother, despite the scorching sun that was tanning her skin.
At home, she found great joy in spending time with her father in the garden. Together, they cultivated numerous peach trees. One day, a group of explorers from the USA visited their residence to sample the peaches, capturing photographs and expressing admiration for the beauty of their garden.
In 1966, at the age of seven, she began attending a school located a 45-minute walk from her home. The Soviet educational system was evolving each year. During the period when Ayjeren was enrolled, a decade of education was mandatory for students. She completed her education in 1976. Throughout her schooling, she was engaged in her studies; however, her home responsibilities limited the time she could dedicate to them
‘‘Although I didn’t have much wealth, I had a supportive partner in life’’
On August 3, 1978, she got married. During that time, marriage was primarily managed by adults. Consequently, the elders of a village near Ak Altyn deemed Ayjeren a suitable match for a young man named Atageldi. She consented without a second thought. Her marriage to Atageldi was thriving in Charlakyap. Atageldi was a respected and knowledgeable man in the village. He worked as a bus driver while also tending to the cows, chickens, and a thousand turkeys they owned. Ayjeren was engaged in household tasks, tending to the garden, and selling the produce and products derived from her garden and livestock. Although she did not hold a formal job, the responsibilities of being a woman during her era were significant in their own right. During her spare time, she dedicated herself to crafting felt items and sewing dresses. Each morning, she would wake up early to bake bread in the tandoor.
‘‘Raising six children has brought me unparalleled joy’’
Over the years, she welcomed her first child in 1979, followed by the birth of her second child. As time went on, she continued to expand her family, ultimately becoming the mother of five children. Following the birth of their sixth child, the couple faced a heartbreaking situation when their six-month-old baby became seriously ill. Despite their relentless efforts, they were unable to save him. Atageldi noticed that Ayjeren appeared increasingly fatigued each day, even though she maintained a smile.
He took immense pride in having a wife of hercaliber. She was not only a dedicated and resilient woman but also treatedeveryone with respect. Ayjeren Durdyyeva was honored with an award from theTurkmen Soviet Socialist Republic for her contributions to motherhood,receiving the "Maternity" medal in silver for having sixchildren
Unfortunately, in September 2000, my grandfather Atageldi Durdyyev passed away at a young age as a result of heart disease. This loss deeply affected my grandmother Ayjeren, who was left to care for their six children on her own. She then firmly cinched her waist to rise. From the eldest to the youngest, the older siblings began taking on various jobs to assist their mother.
Had circumstances been more favorable, she would have relieved them of the need to work. Ayjeren was deeply concerned about her children's future, often losing sleep at night due to her quiet tears. However, one thing she refrained from was showing her tears in front of her children. A week after my grandfather's passing, it was my father's birthday.
The somber events overshadowed the occasion, and no one seemed to recall it. However, his mother, Ayjeren, held the memory close to her heart. As she sat on a worn mat in front of her garden, she made a solemn promise to her children, who bore the weight of grief on their pale faces that day. About raising each of them as educated and knowledgeable individuals without making them dependent on anyone else.
She began her venture by selling items like milk and eggs, visiting each household in the village of Charlakyap. Rising early each morning, she would walk to her mother's residence in Ak Altyn, where her parents would provide her with a substantial amount of food to take back home. A memorable incident for Ayjeren occurred during a frigid winter while she was returning from Ak Altyn.
She lost her footing and accidentally spilled a jar of milk onto the road. The waste of the milk deeply saddened her, bringing her to tears that day. However, true to her resilient nature, Ayjeren gently dried her tears with her yashmak.
There were occasions when she would take her children to harvest cotton with herself. During their morning visits, the cotton was damp and chilly, prompting her to sew plastic bags into her apron. She did not allow the variations in temperature to deter her efforts. Ayjeren was trying various ways to make money. She would make ury, yoghurt and take them to bazaar to sell.
Let’s go back to the beginning, where I mentioned generations. I would like to share the story of the main character's grandmother. This story took place during the uprising of 1916 (Urkun in Kyrgyz), when the Kyrgyz fled to China through the mountains under harsh weather conditions and with little food. Many did not survive, as it was extremely difficult for families with small children to traverse such a long and arduous path.
When Saida’s grandmother’s family returned from China to their homeland, her grandmother was only 9 years old. Her parents and her younger brother, who was only 3 years old, were also with her. At that time, her father was limping and using a cane. The brother had diarrhea, causing them to stop frequently, which made their journey even more challenging. At one point, the father could no longer bear it and ordered the family to leave the boy in the mountains, believing that it would be better for the three of them to survive and get home faster than for the entire family to suffer.
They left him a piece of dry bread and some water. After walking several kilometers, the eldest daughter could not bear to leave her brother behind and ran back to him. The parents were sitting apart, crying bitterly, when they suddenly saw their daughter carrying her younger brother on her back. I first heard this story when I was 10 years old. It touched my heart deeply and left a lasting impression on me. I will never forget how bitterly I cried upon hearing it. I continually admire this courageous girl and am filled with pride at the thought that I am directly related to such a remarkable and strong woman. Despite being only nine years old and facing difficult times, she chose to return to her brother and save his life. Her kindness and bravery are truly inspiring.
I gained numerous valuable life lessons from her. I came to understand that pursuing our dreams and aspirations with relentless determination ultimately leads to true happiness. She could never have imagined that her young granddaughter would turn her life story into a narrative. We shared countless discussions about this tale, and there were numerous instances when tears unexpectedly filled our eyes during those conversations. She still continues to dab her tears with the yashmak...To her, yashmak was more than just a customary piece of clothing for women; it served as trusted confidant for deepest concerns and a companion that soaked up her tears.
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